The Standards are Changing in the Eyes of Youth

...or perhaps our supermodels will slowly evolve into big-head mutants with pouty lips-- and have their noses removed as opposed to cosmetically altered? Newsweek has informed me (personally) that there is a toy out there that can distort the body image of a girl even more so than Barbie can, and is outselling her as well (how sad). Now, as a girl who grew up with Barbie, I have to say that she has changed a great deal. Not only is Barbie scantly clad, but she's also a femme-bot and allows the daughters of America to change the channel on any TV within her infrared domain.



Now these freaks of nature are taking the world's preteens by storm with nothing short of some bling, and a "cum hither" stare that could give any 11 year old boy a woody with a bat of a mongoloid eyelash. I just don't get it. Gradeschool and middleschool girls are eating this shit up, and I can't help but notice a slew of them, who dress like the common streetwalker, perusing the shelves of Wet Seal with their mothers-- that ultimately drag that barely-legal boy to court because he "statutorily raped" her precious little whore. Don't get me wrong, I feel that Barbie plays a large role in the decline of self-esteem among young girls just as much as the next social psychologist. But I'm scared to find out what effects the Bratz dolls will have on the youth of America.

Personally, I don't find them attractive. They've got huge feet and wear tacky clothes. It saddens me that they are outselling Barbie at Christmas time, more so because I've never seen a Bratz doll showcasing a beautiful holiday dress. This year's model is wearing a beautiful gown designed by Bob Mackie-- who has clothed well-dressed celebrities such as Cher, Elton John, and RuPaul. Coined the "sultan of sequins," this is only appropriate for a Barbie wardrobe designer. My only thought on the dress is its accessories... what's up with the hat?




Is it a Catholic conspiracy that only the DaVinci code can unlock?? And even further, why does Barbie's dress this year promote animal cruelty? That fur trim just screams "clubbed baby seals," but a bit fluffier. Bobby's got some 'splaining to do...